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A Sixty and Me personal essay urges readers to reconsider “I’ll try,” “can’t,” “always,” “never,” “if only” and “but.” Its author says replacing these phrases with more deliberate wording helped her focus on choice, responsibility and relationships; the piece presents personal reflection, not research establishing that the words have uniform effects.
Sixty and Me has published a personal essay urging readers to reconsider six common words and phrases — “I’ll try,” “can’t,” “always,” “never,” “if only” and “but” — that its author says can reinforce limiting beliefs or complicate relationships. The recommendations are based on the writer’s experiences and coaching practices, not a reported scientific study or expert consensus.
The author frames the advice around how language shapes self-talk and everyday interactions. She describes teaching workshops on identifying limiting beliefs and writing affirmations, as well as having regular calls with a coaching partner to share those statements. She says the practice helped both of them make progress in their personal and professional lives, but offers no independent measurement of that change.
For “I’ll try,” the essay argues that the phrase can leave a person’s commitment vague. The author illustrates the point with her son Joel, who lost 35 pounds over six months after his family began taking regular walks and keeping certain foods and drinks out of the house. The essay says he maintained those practices and felt better, slept better and had more energy. Those are the author’s account of one family’s experience, not a general health finding.
The other suggested alternatives focus on precision and accountability. The author says “can’t” may disguise a choice, while “always” and “never” can turn specific frustrations into sweeping judgments. She recommends replacing “if only” with wording that looks for an opportunity in present circumstances. She calls “but” a “verbal eraser,” arguing that it can cancel praise or make an apology sound like an excuse; using “and” can keep both parts of a statement in view.
How Small Phrases Shape Conversations
The essay addresses a familiar communication problem: habitual language can affect how people describe setbacks, commitments and other people. Its practical value lies less in banning particular words than in prompting readers to ask whether their wording is accurate and useful. Saying “I didn’t get out for my walk today,” for example, states what happened without claiming that walking was impossible.
That distinction can matter in close relationships as well as personal goal-setting. The author’s examples of “always” and “never” show how absolute phrasing can turn a complaint about one event into a judgment about someone’s character. Replacing an absolute with a specific description may make a disagreement easier to address. These are the writer’s suggestions, however; the article does not establish that changing a word alone will produce a particular outcome.
The piece also carries a personal account of weight loss and improved well-being. Readers should understand that account as an anecdote about the author’s family, not medical guidance or evidence that the same routine will work for others. The source does not provide clinical details or independent verification.
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The Essay’s Personal Examples
The author introduces the subject with a story about a friend whose fiancé removed the word “divorce” from his dictionaries. The friend had a difficult family history, the essay says, and took the gesture as reassurance; the couple remained married more than 40 years later. The story illustrates the author’s view that words and symbolic gestures can carry emotional weight, but it is not evidence that avoiding a word guarantees relationship security.
The essay then draws on the author’s experience leading workshops and participating in a long-running affirmation partnership. It shifts from those reflections to six phrases she believes are worth noticing: “I’ll try,” “can’t,” “always,” “never,” “if only” and “but.” The headline says “6 Words,” though two entries are multiword phrases and “always” and “never” are treated together. The article’s central proposal is to notice habitual wording and choose alternatives deliberately.
Limits of the Language Advice
The source is a first-person advice essay, and it does not cite research to establish that these words consistently limit growth, damage relationships or produce particular psychological effects. The author’s coaching experience and family stories are presented as personal evidence, not controlled findings. It is also unclear whether the publication intended the headline’s “six words” to mean individual words or six entries, since several recommendations are phrases.
The account of Joel’s weight loss does not give details such as how his health was assessed, whether he received medical support or what other factors contributed. The essay reports the family’s experience but does not establish cause and effect. Its advice should not be read as a substitute for professional guidance on health or significant relationship concerns.
Applying the Suggestions Carefully
The essay offers no announced follow-up study, program or further reporting. Its proposed next step for readers is personal reflection: notice which phrases recur in their own speech or thoughts and consider whether a more specific alternative would better express the facts or intention. The author suggests that readers identify words they would be happier not saying and test different wording.
For example, a reader might replace “I can’t make time” with a truthful description of competing priorities, or change an absolute accusation into a concrete account of what happened. The source does not promise that these substitutions will change behavior or resolve conflict. Whether they help depends on the situation, and the article leaves that assessment to readers rather than presenting a universal rule.
Key Questions
Which six words and phrases does the essay recommend reconsidering?
The essay lists “I’ll try,” “can’t,” “always,” “never,” “if only” and “but.” It treats “always” and “never” together and includes phrases, despite the headline calling them words.
Does the article cite scientific research?
No. The source presents the advice through the author’s personal experiences, coaching practice and family examples. It does not cite a study establishing that avoiding these expressions reliably changes behavior or relationships.
What replacement does the author suggest for “if only”?
The author suggests wording along the lines of “Since this is here, I have a new opportunity,” which she says shifts attention toward present circumstances rather than regret or fantasy.
What does the essay say about the word “but”?
The author argues that “but” can weaken what came before it. She offers using “and” as one alternative when both parts of a statement are true, such as expressing affection while acknowledging a challenge.
Is the weight-loss story medical advice?
No. It is an account of the author’s son and the family’s experience. The essay does not provide clinical evidence or show that the same changes are suitable for everyone; health decisions should be discussed with a qualified professional.
Source: sixtyandme.com
